It's a New Year ...

and that means it is time to do what I've been debating on doing for the past 2-3 months: close this blog. But, have no fear! I am going to continue to blog, just at a new address. It won't be terribly different than this blog ... the same random ramblings from my mind.

You might wonder why the change. This blog represents the cry of my heart at a very turbulent time in my life. I'm in a much better place now. I'd like for my new blog to be more about who I am now and who I am becoming.

So ... you can now find my current blog at this new address: http://paigikins.blogspot.com/ And you can continue to re-read old posts here at this blog as well. I love all of my readers and treasures the comments you've made to me during the past year. I hope you will continue to read and comment on my new blog, too!

Online version of our 2008 Christmas Card & Letter

Dear Family and Friends,
Have you ever felt like things were going wrong at every turn, and that no matter how hard you tried things just didn't go according to your plan? Perhaps you can relate ... but if not, please bear with me while I tell my story.

Earlier this month I ordered Christmas photo cards. From the start, it all seemed to go wrong. I placed my order online, and discovered soon afterward that the company I used was brand-new. They were overwhelmed with many more orders than they expected, and so were unable to process my order in a timely manner. Once my order finally got shipped, winter weather kept delaying the cards as they slowly made their way to my doorstep. Originally I was supposed to have received my cards by December 10th, but it was December 22nd before the cards ever showed up in my mailbox.

I was already somewhat upset about the lengthy delay, so imagine my utter shock when I opened my package and saw the the Christmas photo cards I ordered had arrived minus the photo! Who ever heard of a Christmas photo card without the photo?!? You can imagine the utter dismay and frustration I felt with the situation.



Well, after the hot angry tears were all wiped away and a good night's sleep had given me a new perspective, the thought occurred to me that maybe Joseph felt like the world was working against him on that very first Christmas. I wonder what thoughts and emotions went through is head as he tried and tried to find a safe place for Mary. And when he could find no room in the inn and had to take refuge in a barn, did he question himself as to why this was the best he could manage to do for his wife and the newborn Son of God? It seems unlikely that Joseph had first-hand knowledge that it was God's intention for the King of Kings to be born in a lowly stable. Maybe he did, but I have a feeling that Joseph felt a lot of dismay and frustration with the situation.

Obviously "The Great Christmas Card Fiasco of 2008" is far from being the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of mankind. It's not even close to being the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Truthfully, I can't even really say it was bad because in the end the company apologized for their terrible mistake and gave me a full refund, which is honestly the best thing they could do under the circumstances. And even though this is definitely not the card I had intended to send to all of my loved ones, my children were very eager to help me make lemonade from the lemons thrown our way by drawing pictures of themselves into the blank photo spot so that the cards weren't a total waste. Free Christmas cards can't be all that bad!



So maybe this won't be the best Christmas card you receive this season, but I imagine it will be the most unforgettable card. I'm hoping to send out real photo cards sometime this spring, but until then the kids and I hope you will enjoy this original creation from our house.

May your home be filled with peace and joy ... and may your hearts stay merry and bright throughout 2009!

with love,
Paige and the kids

Christmas Bells ... Wedding Bells

My sister Brooke was married yesterday in a beautiful Christmas wedding. She married her sweetheart, Chris, on our parents' 40th wedding anniversary. I was honored to be my sister's matron of honor. Our brother was the minister who officiated the ceremony. The large sanctuary was a sea of red poinsettas, while twinkling white lights ordained trees in the choir loft and baptistry. It was a beautiful setting for a happy wedding.


Here are some snapshots taken on my camera yesterday ...



Brooke with her bridesmaids. From left to right:
Madison (daughter of the groom), Betsy (cousin of the bride), me, Brooke, Nan (sister of the groom), Karen (college friend of bride), Rachel (niece of bride)




Brooke with the children in the wedding.
On the left of the bride are Micah (nephew of bride), Haelyn and Suzannah (nieces of the groom) and Madison (daughter of the groom). On the right of the bride are Rachel and Julia (nieces of the bride), and Joel and Nate (nephews of the bride). The two older girls were junior bridesmaids. The three littler ones were flower girls. The boys escorted the flower girls and rang bells to announce the entrance of the bride.



Our family ...
(from left to right) Back row: Dad, Mom, Brooke, me, Heather and Reid
Front row: Joel, Rachel, Julia, Micah and Nate




Last picture ... Betsy snapped this picture of Brooke and me upstairs in the dressing room before the wedding.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for me this past week. I was a bit more emotional than usual, but I did very well. My heart was happy for Brooke and not too terribly sad for me. I got a little teary watching her walk down the ailse. But mostly, I had a great time seeing my family from out of town and visiting with people I rarely get to see. I enjoyed a little late night shopping both nights ... the first night with my cousin Betsy for undergarments to wear underneath my dress and the second night with my Aunt Beth and Gail for Christmas gifts. Oh, and my favorite part of the weekend was that I got to spend lots of time holding babies ... Beau (my cousin Steffi's 5 month old son), Jude (my cousin Clay's 6 month old son), and Caleb (my cousin Andy's 8 month old son). No baby girls, just boys this time around! And while all 3 of them were just too adorable for words, Jude especially stole my heart. He reminded me of Nathan. He kept "kissing" me on the cheek. Nate used to do that. He'd pull my face to his and give those slobbery, wet baby kisses. So Jude scored big, big points with me just for that!

My kids loved the family time as well. My cousin Andy, his wife Gail and their 3 children (Nevin, Kayley and Caleb) drove all the way from Kansas for the wedding. Nevin is just 3 months older than Joel. Both of my boys loved playing with him. But it was Julia and Kayley who hit it off the best. They played together Saturday night until we made them go to bed. Gail said that Kayley went to sleep saying, "I'm going to love Julia forever!" And Julia brought me to tears when she said, "I've waited all my life for a best friend, and now I have one but she lives in Kansas!"

I just realized that I don't have a picture of the groom on my camera. I guess that would be because all of these pictures were taken prior to the wedding. Brooke was very traditional and didn't want to see Chris before the ceremony. So while we did a lot of picture taking prior to the service, all joint pictures of the bride and groom were taken after the wedding. I forgot to get a family member to take pictures for me then. Sorry about that, Chris!

Silly Bedtime Conversation

This is the conversation I had with a very sleepy Nathan as I tucked him into bed:

Nate: Mama ... (long pause) ... What if we were in India ... (long pause) ... and our car ... (yawn) ... was suddenly surrounded ... (long pause and more yawning) ... by a lot of cobras .... (long, long pause) ... What would I ask you to do?

Me: Wow, what a scary situation! I really hope that never happens, but if it does what will you ask me to do?

Nate: I'd ask you ... (pause) ... to drive the car all over ... (yawn) ... the cobras .... (pause and yawn) ... and kill them, of course.

Me: Of course. That's definitely a good idea. Dead cobras are much better than alive cobras.

Nate: Wwweeeelllll ... (yawn) ... if you didn't kill them ... (long pause) ... then the cobras might decide to grab on to our car ... (pause) ... and take a ride. .... (yawn) ... We'd end up with cobras in Louisiana ... (yawn) ... and that wouldn't be good.

Then he turned over and pulled the covers over his little head.

Of Snow Days and Brown Eyes ... or Does God Answer Prayers?

The is snow everywhere, or so it seems ... well, everywhere but here. To the east, the west, the north and the south ... snow, snow, snow. But none in our yard.

Joel, my little weather man, has wanted to see snow for his entire life. We even lived in VA for a winter and got no snow. And now there is snow falling everywhere but here. His cousins, who live more than 2 hours to our south, called at 7:15 this morning to see if we had a snow day, too. They have 5 inches and it is still falling. But there is no such luck for us. Just rain, rain, rain. No white fluffy flakes anywhere to be seen.

Last night I had a little chat with the Lord, asking Him for snow for my kids. In fact, I asked him for several snow days ... a deep storm that would envelop us for a few days. It's hard to learn that there are snowflakes falling this morning everywhere but here. It makes me cry out in my soul, "Why, Lord? I can't understand why this one little prayer isn't answered MY way!"

A few nights ago, as I tucked Nathan into bed, he once again asked me to pray for his father not to divorce me. That particular prayer from my children simply breaks my heart because I know it won't be answered the way they are praying, and I pray that it won't cause them to be bitter and turn away from God for not answering their prayer in a positive way. Still, we prayed the prayer. As we finished, Nathan said, "Mama, you know that God doesn't always answer our prayers with a yes. Sometimes He says no. And when He says no, it's okay ... sometimes their is a reason for no."

I was kind of stunned to hear such wise words from my little guy. I agreed with him, and told him that he was very smart for realizing this truth. Nathan said, "Well, I learned it from a story I read. There was this girl named Amy who was born in Ireland. Everybody else in her family had blue eyes, but Amy had brown eyes. She prayed that God would change her eyes to blue but God said no. When Amy grew up, she was a missionary in India and she needed brown eyes to help the people there. She couldn't have helped them if her eyes were blue because the people in India weren't used to people with blue eyes. So God told her no when she was a little girl for a reason." I smiled and kissed him, wondering where on earth Nathan had heard such a story.

The next day my mother (who is also Nathan's teacher) asked me to check over some of the extra work I'd been sending to school for Nathan. He's extremely advanced and needs extra work to occupy him. I had sent up some Abeka workbooks to the school for Nathan. As I checked his work, I found the story he had read about Amy in the Abeka workbook. And the thought crossed my mind ... Nathan's faith in God is growing, even at a public school. It's one of the things I used to fear about putting my kids into school ... their faith would be challenged and they would be unprepared to deal with the challenges. It's an answer to a prayer I've been praying for the past year.

So, does God answer prayers? Yes, I think so. He's answered some very big ones for me. Now, as to the snow today ... I'm not sure why God is saying no. However, I'm going to try to be like Nathan and trust God has a reason for it. And, I'm going to be very happy that I've got so many friends and loved ones who are enjoying the gift of an unexpected snow day. I hope they all enjoy the white stuff while it lasts!

Santa Claus ... I know him!

You'd better watch out!
You'd better not cry!
You'd better not pout!
I'm tellin' you why ...
Santa Claus is comin' to town!

And he was at the mall on Saturday! Joy of joys!

Nathan and Julia were thrilled to have a few minutes to chat with "Old St. Nick." Nate always insists upon using that Santa name, though Joel seems to get a kick out of the old Pennsylvania Dutch name for Santa ... Belsnickle. But that's beside the point!

The real reason for this post is because after 15 minutes in line, $15 handed over the happy elves and 3 minutes on Santa's lap, we walked away with a cute picture that I felt like sharing. Enjoy!

Growing Pains

This past weekend, my sister Brooke and I had a long list of things to do before her wedding. My parents were gone out of town, so the kids had to to come along for the ride. It was a terribly long day, and so we tried to make it as fun for the kids as possible.

We started out by going to the mall to see Santa. Nathan and Julia were so excited, but Joel didn't want to go and see Santa. He decided he'd rather go shoe shopping with Aunt Brooke. It didn't so much surprise me that he didn't believe in Santa anymore. Joel's never really believed that strongly ... but it did shock me when he just didn't have any desire to go see Santa and have his picture taken. Joel didn't act indecisive or unsure about it. He just sort of shrugged his shoulders, and asked if he could go with Aunt Brooke. Of course, I let him, while at the same realizing that I wasn't expecting this to be the Christmas when he was too big to sit on Santa's lap. It felt sort of weird and a bit lonely to stand in the Santa line with only 2 kids instead of 3 bouncing children.

After lunch, we had to do a bit more shoe shopping. This time we were buying dress shoes for the kids to wear in the wedding. Nathan's been having a big growth spurt. He has grown 3 shoe sizes in the past year! I was concerned about getting the right size shoe for his foot, so I asked the sales lady to measure his feet. When she said Nathan needed a 3 1/2, I asked her to go ahead and measure Joel's foot as I thought he was wearing a size 3. Joel hadn't been complaining of his shoes fitting too tightly, but if Nathan's foot had surpassed Joel's than that would be a bit weird!

The kind woman measured Joel's foot and then said, "Ma'am ... you are in the wrong dept for this young man. He's outgrown children's shoes and will need to go over to the men's dept." I must have looked stunned for she quickly added, "Children's shoes stop at size 4, and he needs a 5 1/2."

Still shocked, I thanked her, and then tried to get my bearings. Men's shoes? Joel needed men's shoes? For the past 8 1/2 years, I've shopped in children's departments for my kid's clothing needs. Now I'm being sent away! I'm not ready to leave the children's department!

I know that Joel is far, far from being grown up ... but on Saturday I felt the growing pains so strongly. Lord, the days are long but the years are short. Please give me a heart of love, wisdom and courage to raise these 3 kids for you in the short but tender time you give their charge to me.