Pieces

It's been nearly a year since my life dramatically fell apart. Since that time, I've often thought or even said that my life was "shattered" or that I was trying to "pick up the pieces." Not an hour goes by that I don't in some way think about all those shattered pieces ... wondering if there is anyway to put all the pieces of my life back together again, so that I feel whole and useful and unbroken once more. The cracks and chips and missing parts bother me greatly, and most of the time I feel so ashamed of me in this current state.

Pieces ... that word alone goes a long, long way to describing how my life feels. It's been defining me for almost a year.

A couple of days ago I read a blog that is written by the wife of a successful Christian artist. Back in April, this woman gave birth to a stillborn baby girl. I've never been in her shoes and I pray that I never ever have to experience the tragedy of losing a child. However, I'm quite sure that her life feels shattered into a million different pieces, and I do know how it feels to look at all the broken parts and wonder if they can ever be put back together enough to be of any use again.

Her beautiful essay on be broken and shattered speaks loudly to my heart. For you see, God is picking up all the pieces and putting my life back together again, too. Each day I look at myself and see how I'm beginning to heal. I still don't like all that I see, for mostly I end up noticing the very visible cracks and imperfections. They bother me because I want to feel whole again. But amazingly God says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Therefore, when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

I encourage you to read this inspiring blog for yourself: http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2008/05/past-and-pitcher.html

As for me, I'm going to break a teacup, scoop up the pieces and spend some time with God ... weeping, gluing and remembering. And I'm going to be thankful for the cracks in my life because through them Christ's love is able to seep out of me and into my little corner of the world.